is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
