Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
