At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize