I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
