she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
