We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The uberlube is also flammable
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
