To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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