we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
only you would photoshop your dick
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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