I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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