Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
