Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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