I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
