She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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