great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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