I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
