I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
