the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
