Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
