Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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