if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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