I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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