I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
