Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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