so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
