Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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