It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
