the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
