Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
