Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I fill condoms, not promises.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
