Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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