Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
