I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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