yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
