i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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