i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
