Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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