Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize