Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Green mimosas i think yes
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
