Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Is it penis luge time yet?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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