she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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