I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
