Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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