I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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