I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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