Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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