What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
