what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
