Pappa wants mamma naked
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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