And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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