I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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