so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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