this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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