"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
