Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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