She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
