the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
