are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
