I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
