Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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