I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
