So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
