nut hugger
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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