I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
