capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
